So shortly after welcoming our first foster kiddo at home we got a call to take in another. I wasn't exactly planning on taking on more than one child since I have three biological children of my own but with a bit of hesitation, we said yes. Upon arrival, this little one was very comfy and seemed to take well to the changes. The child was fine for the first few hours. Slept well, ate well and so I thought we were going to have an "easy" one on our hands. Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Wrong.
This poor child is behind on everything. Severely delayed I would say. I've worked at a pediatric rehab and I would recognize a future patient in an instant... he will be one of them :( I can't leave this child for a moment without screams and cries that make me feel like my head will simply explode! I have an infant of my own and I am torn at the thought that I'm not giving my child or this other little one the attention they need and deserve. This feeling is quite overwhelming and I really feel like a failure. I know that there's no way I could be perfect and that it will take time to adjust, I just don't know if I have it in me to care for a child with special needs. Maybe if I didn't have my own children, I could care for this little one... but that's a hypothetical that simply will never be.
I must bring up these issues to my caseworker but I'm afraid I will look like a failure in their eyes and that hurts me. I hate being a perfectionist... and I hate failing... but this isn't about me, and this child needs more than I can give.
~Norm
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