Bea has scheduled visitations with bio family twice a week. Bea gets to see two siblings and bio mom at these visits so it's never any wonder as to how this child feels right before heading out for visitations. Bea's face lights up, "I'm going to see mommy!" It never fails, the same look, the same expression, EVERY time.
Well this week was different. Bio mom has missed a visit and has been late in the past, but we've overcome the emotions and moved on. This week, double no-shows.
See, baby sibling had a doctor's excuse due to a very contagious virus. The other foster family was not able to bring the other two siblings this week (or at least that was the case for the first visit for the week.) So, since only one child would be attending, mom decided it wasn't worth getting out the door to come see Bea.
Second scheduled visit comes along... Bea is once again elated to go see mommy and is running out the door waving goodbye to all of us here at home... "I'm going to see my mommy! See you later!" Once again, no show.
This time, siblings were there but mom didn't know if they were going to show up. So her excuse was, "if child protective services cannot guarantee that my kids will all be present, I will not be coming in." WTF! Sometimes I find it very difficult to understand what goes through someone else's mind. I can't put myself in the place of this "mother."
Who gives a flying fungi whether all children will be there or not? Why can't you be there for the one that has been showing up consistently from the start of visitations? She is eager to see mommy. She is eager to feel accepted and loved (not that she isn't here with us, but she knows her momma and she misses her.) Why not make the best of the hand she was dealt, and comply with what is being asked of her??? All of these questions run about a million miles a minute through my mind. In the course of my confusion... I also have to think of what to say to this little person who is so heart broken and waiting for an answer.
I try to be positive. It's all I can do. I have no clear explanation for Bea... Her behavior is all over the place... She's regressing in several ways since these visitations and inconsistencies began... I hope she overcomes all of these challenges. We will keep pushing forward. For her sake, I hope mom gets it together. There's another child on the way and at this rate, this momma needs some help in becoming a real parent to her babies.
If you have any words of comfort or advice, feel free to leave them below.
~Norm
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